The Animal Farm

August 28th, 2004

Superstar Saga Full Review

Now that I have just finished Superstar Saga, I’d like to give you a more thorough review.

Superstar Saga (henceforth SS) is, in my humble and infinitely correct opinion, one of the greatest RPGs to be released. You take the role of Mario and Luigi as they try to stop Cackletta from taking control of the world.

That’s it for the story. There’s nothing terribly complex here. The game has one goal: fun, and to this end SS succeeds completely. Jokes take over the dialog, and the entire game is lighthearted. As you travel, you meet some of the hippest characters ever devised. Fawful, for instance, is probably the most awesome henchman. Prince Peasely is another interesting character, playing the role of the arrogant pretty-boy prince quite well.

SS also shines in gameplay. This game takes a whole new twist on the RPG battling system, and what is acheived is refreshing and fun. At its most basic level, you and your enemies still take turns beating each other, and you still choose your battle actions from a menu. However, when you’re attacking, you can time button presses to deal more damage. Furthermore, every special attack you do will require you to hit certain buttons at certain times to deal maximum damage. When the enemy attacks, you have the possibility to completely dodge the attack. In fact, it’s theoretically possible to make it through the whole game without ever taking damage (although this would be *very* hard).

Even wandering around the overworld is kept interesting. The game works very much like a platformer here, where Mario and Luigi can time jumps and maneuver around enemies. Throughout the game, you get special items that allow you to access new areas and do nifty things. There are some puzzles strewn about - nothing too complex, but enough to keep you entertained. There is a bit of a flaw here, however, in that once you get enough special items the controls start to get a little clunky.

The graphics are all bright and vibrant. The music is good, although none of it really sticks out as awesome.

I think that’s all I have to say about the game. Buy it.

They say he can dodge bullets.

August 27th, 2004

DMA Script

Deadliest Man Alive Episode 1 Script

By all means, post comments/critiques/questions in the forum or send them straight to me.

The showdown between The Deadliest Man Alive and The World’s Deadliest Man is coming soon to a theater near you.

August 26th, 2004

Interesting week

I am currently typing this from Brian’s computer while he is attending the class that he and I are both enrolled in. Yes, I skipped a class during the first week of classes. But my reasons are justified, at least I think so. WVU has this new idea that viruses on computers are a bad thing and that if they find out you have a virus on your computer, they disconnect you from the network until you pay $20 to get it fixed. Turns out I have a virus on my computer. I probably got it from my brother’s heap of spyware/adware/ virii on his computer as it played around on our network at home. So now that I am disconnected from the internet, I won’t be able to talk on AIM for a while. I just got back from giving my computer to the proper authorities to fix it for a fee of $35. That really isn’t what is going to kill me though. What is going to kill me is the fact that I won’t have a computer for at least 4 days. They basically said Monday at the earliest. So now I am AIM-less AND computerless for the next few days. If you have anything important to say to me, you can either call my room or wait for the hours of 4-6:30 MW, 3-5 R, or 3-6 F. Those are the hours I will be in the computer lab. The good news is I can play some video games without distraction. The bad news is I don’t have many video games I want to play. Oh well, at least I will be getting smashed this weekend and not really be able to use my computer anyway.

In other news, my Japanese class is awesome. Since I have nothing better to do at lab, I just read ahead in my Japanese. It is sort of hard to grasp, considering it is so vastly different form English, but I don’t really know the english rules well enough to compare so I should be fine in learning the grammar.

I like alcohol, if you like it, we should drink it together. That is all.


“I can’t just install a hydrolic penis on everyone. It’s unethical.”
~Dr. Quinn, Sealab 2021

August 26th, 2004

Sit Back and Relax

This might be a little long. You should probably get some snacks.

Dehydration has some nifty effects. Besides making me absurdly tired, it fills me with a kind of euphoria that I imagine isn’t entirely unlike being drunk. I stumble around, making flamboyant gestures and babbling incoherently about a range of topics. These topics could include the quality of life in Indonesia, and certainly the state of Zach’s third nipple is not off-limits.

Tonight, the primary topic of my gibberish was the ladies. At the risk of seeming terribly immature and childish, I’m going to be brutally honest: I like women. I like looking at women. I like talking to women. I even like hurting women when they deserve it. It happens to be lady’s night here in Morgantown, and thus there was much eye candy. I was also treated to see the three women who live across the hall, who I would love to meet if I could devise some clever scheme to introduce myself. I almost randomly popped in to say hi (probably the least clever scheme I could come up with), but I never found the nerve. Brian is shy and timid, if you hadn’t figured that out.

So Zach and I were lounging about near the front doors talking to Tiffany and… John? Jason? I don’t know his name, but I think it may start with a ‘J’ and end in an ‘n’. On the other hand, it could also start with any other letter and end similarly. ANYWAY. I was a little eccentric and Zach was a little happy, and we were yelling and having a jovial time. We called up Anthony, and I talked to him a little. He wants me to attend some party thing Saturday, which I wil probably go to. I won’t be drinking, but if I get dehydrated I might fit in. Yea, there’s not a real point to this story. I just wanted to tell everyone what happened.

Let’s rewind to earlier events of the day. I went to breakfast, where I was accompanied by Chelsea and her roommate (maybe) Theresa (maybe). I went to class with relatively no incident. After class, Kyle, Dusty, me, and some lady yelled at a crossword puzzle for about 15 minutes. I think I made the puzzle feel a little bad before we left, but it wasn’t crying or anything. Then I came to the room and played Superstar Saga for a few hours. Let me tell you that this game is still damn fine. I’ve spent nearly 12 hours on it in the last 2 days (for those of you who aren’t good with math, that’s 1/4th of my time). Afterward, I went to Pizza Hut with Zach. There are few things that compare to a pan pizza with pepperoni and extra cheese, and most of those things involve hallucinating and killing thousands upon thousands of brain cells. We came back, and I wasted about 30 seconds before turning Superstar Saga back on. At around 9:30 the game introduced some annoying little quest, and so I decided to leave that chore for tomorrow. I proceeded to play DDR until my clothes were drenched in sweat and, possibly, blood. Then I went downstairs, where the lady-watching and lounging took place.

This is quite the update, yes? I told you to get some snacks.

So that’s really all for my day. Allow me to give you a general description of how classes are going. CS 210 (File and Data Structures) is looking to be more interesting than I had expected. The teacher is a really hip guy, and any student will tell you that That Never Hurts. Japanese 101 is looking to be *crazy fun*. The teacher is whacky, and the class is actually entertaining. Furthermore, I’m very interested in the material. Statistics 215 might be the most boring and uneventful class I have. Hopefully the class doesn’t kill me. I have the lab for the first time tomorrow, so we’ll see how that goes. CS 350 (Computer Systems Concepts) is neither bad nor good. The class is covering a lot of stuff I already know, which means that I’ll probably nearly fall asleep. It’s also too long. But the teacher is alright, and the material isn’t horribly uninteresting, so I should be fine.

My daily routine isn’t too bad. I’m always done with class before 2. I usually have time for both breakfast and Lunch Crew, and thus I see Kyle, Rote, Cara, Kara, T.W., a little Gripper, Dusty, random people I don’t know, etc. The only person I don’t see who I’d like to see is Ben The Hot Chick (named as such because of his wonderfully golden long hair). I have plenty of time for video games. The only thing I could complain about is that I have to be up at 7 AM *far too often*.

I think I’m complete with the update on my life. As always, I’ll post more as it becomes pertinent.

Watashi wa Sowers desu.

August 25th, 2004

Mario Superstar Saga

I have something to say. I won’t lie to you. You’re not going to like it.

Compared to Superstar Saga, you are all nothing to me.

To elaborate, the game is hot. It’s been a long time since I’ve been truly immersed in a game, but today I spent 6 straight hours in front of my TV as I guided Mario and Luigi into danger after danger. There’s innovative and fun gameplay, there’s extremely humorous dialog, and there’s promiscuous nudity coupled with murderous ninja midgets whose unfulfilled dream was to star in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I strongly encourage anyone with a GBA to buy the game. Now.

Also, I’d like to go ahead and make a casting call for Deadliest Man Alive Episode 1. If you want to be in The Best Ameteur Series Ever, hit me up.


August 24th, 2004

Well Doesn’t CSEE Just Suck

I had a nice little update right up until the server kicked me out and destroyed everything I had written. Personally, I’m not in the mood to rewrite everything. So suffice it to say that everything is currently going very well, and I’m enjoying school. Also, I finished the first draft of the Deadliest Man Alive Episode 1 script. It will have to undergo *extensive* editing before I even think about filming, though.

Now I’m going to go. I’m bored, and I want to find something to do.

Wow, that’s funny. Did you come up with that all by yourself? I mean, because it’s so original. Brian - 8/22/04 - I’m Home
After what I might consider my most memorable summer - mostly on account of its flaws rather than its merits - I’m finally back in Morgantown. I’m unequivocally glad to be back.

Walking into my room, I was treated with a very pleasant surprise. Lying on my bed, courtesy of Zach, was a plush doll of Vash the Stampede from Trigun. I don’t need to tell any of you how much I adore Vash. I currently have him sitting on my dresser along with a doll of Fearless Leader, the awesome villain of Rocky & Bullwinkle.

I spent some time in the room talking and unpacking, and then Zach and I went out to Yama’s for Japanese food. The food was good. We came back and sat around for a bit, and eventually Anthony and Paul showed up. Soon after their arrival, I went to Rebekah’s to watch Aladdin. Aladdin is my favorite Disney movie, so I was quite pleased. I came back, and there was DDR to be played. Eventually Anthony and Paul left, and Zach and I watched Vampire Hunter D. At around 5 AM, we finally crashed.

I woke up today around 2. I played some video games before Zach and I went to the Mt. Lair to get food and talk. Then we went to check out some posters. Zach found a Homestar Runner poster, which was quite awesome. I saw a Mahatma Ghandi poster which I am seriously considering purchasing (for those that don’t know, I’m a big fan of Ghandi). We came back, and here I am updating.

I think that’s all for my update. Classes start tomorrow, so I’ll give an update then if one is necessary. Cheers.

Zach, stop singing that fu**ing music or I’ll slit your throat.

August 20th, 2004

Back at WVU

Well, I am finally back. Finally back to everything I’ve wanted to be back to( minus Brian ) since I left this place 4 months or so ago. The room is great, I already situated the beds in a manner that mamimizes space while being in reasonable places( IE not bunked ).

I started my day off by going to sleep at 5 AM. I woke up to my alarm at 8 AM and began my trek over the rugged and dangerous terrain known as “79.” Once I finally got here, I was greated with far too many people and no where to park. They changed the rules of the lot next to my building to make it an “unload only” area. As soon as we parked a swarm of yellow tee shirt-clad girls took all of our stuff out of the Jeep and placed it on the lawn. They then informed my dad that he had to leave and find a place to park, he parked about a 20 minute walk away. So, after 6 trips and a lot of sweat later, we got everything stuffed in my room. The only thing missing now is Sowas… and some decor.. but I think he would kill me if I did that.

So after we got the room put together my parents and I hugged and they left. I then had to get my Work Study taken care of. So I took a trek to the Mountain Lair to get my work study papers. I was lucky and the wait in line was minimal. She then said, “go to the computer lab.” So I did. I went there and the clerk told me I had to get my payroll stuff done.. at the Mountain Lair. So I trekked back up to the Mountain Lair and got my payroll stuff done. This consisted of me signing at least 10 different little pieces of white paper. So I got that done and they told me to go to the computer lab again. So I did. I finally got to talk to the person ahead of scheduling and she asked me if I had my mailed letter I got to prove I was awarded work study. I never got no stinkin letter! So she said I had to go to financial aide to get my letter reprinted… at the Mountian Lair. So I went back up there and talked to the financial aide lady. She told me I didn’t get no stinkin letter because there is no stinkin letter. Just a piece of paper I already had in my hand. So I went back to the computer lab and got my schedule worked out. A process taht should have taken about an hour took 3. Line waiting and such added in there. I was a little irate, but I needed the exercise and I liked listening to my MP3 player again. On a good note, getting Brian’s and my Japanese books from the professor was an in and out procedure.

Speaking of my MP3 player, I hadn’t seen it for 2 months before last night. My brother “borrowed” it to use when he goes jogging. I guess he thought my MP3 player’s hiatus would go unnoticed.

My feelings right now are a mixed batch of “great-berries” and “upset-fruit.” I became a lot closer to some friends this summer, namely Lesa and Dan, and I am going to miss them quite a bit. On the other hand, I have some friendships here that I would love to make closer and let grow. It’s just that I have these two great lives in two different places. College is a weird place, let me tell you. Sure I am the same person I am here that I am at home, maybe a bit sexier, but not enough for the average to notice. It’s just that my friends here are just mere phantom’s to the people back home and visacersa. They are entities that they haven’t met, or met briefly, and really don’t know. Lord knows my feeble description skills aren’t good enough to explain just how awesome my friends are to my other friends. Well, most of you assholes understand what I am trying to say, so I am gunna stop.


August 19th, 2004

My Bad, Yo

Apparently the period crack wasn’t the offending material.

Still, I’m always pleased to anger someone.

“I have the black shake.”

August 18th, 2004


Congratulations to me. I finally managed to offend someone with this site. It was a female, and I would imagine the crack about periods from my last update was the offending material.

I, of course, make no apologies. Let’s face it. You chicks are crazy.

My next goal is to offend a complete stranger. Wish me luck.

Do you ever have a time when you feel less than fresh?

August 18th, 2004

English Lesson

Okay, so here’s the thing. I’m in a really bad mood. I’m not going to cry about it, though. I’m going to use my anger/depression to fuel today’s rant, which has been largely inspired by a conversation in the forums.

Some of you might be familiar with this thing called the “English language.” Maybe you’ve read about it in books or heard from a friend that it was the new hip thing sweeping America. At any rate, I would strongly encourage those of you not fully indoctrinated in English to study it more fully. You’ll be surprised at how helpful it is in America.

For your benefit, I’m going to provide a little English lesson here.

We’ll start with the period. I’m not talking about the scary thing women get once a month that causes them to act crazy (or, rather, gives them a week-long excuse for the crazy behavior they maintain all month long anyway). I’m talking about the little dot that you’ll see periodically placed throughout text. This dot is used to indicate the end of a sentence. It is vital that you put a period at the end of your sentences - otherwise, people have no idea where one of your stupid statements ends and the next one begins. The period has only one small trick. If you’re asking a question, you don’t use a period. You use a question mark (?). If you want to indicate emphasis, you use an exclamation mark (!) instead of a period. That’s easy.

Next we shall move on to commas. Commas can be tricky, but you can rest easy in the knowledge that there are only a handful of people who know enough to fault you on improper comma useage. While I won’t go into the details of when to use commas, a general rule-of-thumb is that you would place one where you would normally pause during speach.

Now I’m going to take a moment to talk about sentence structure. At their most basic, sentences should contain a subject and a verb. Sentences lacking either element are generally incorrect (although there is one exception which I won’t go into). Furthermore, such sentences make you look like a blithering idiot. When you start to get into more advanced sentence structures, you can start tossing in more than one subject/verb, and you can even place in modifying words. However, I really don’t have faith that any of you are intelligent enough for that step yet.

Finally, I’d like to talk about word formation/spelling. There’s so much to touch on in this category. First, many people like to misuse letters. Here’s a handy tip: there are TWO one-letter words: A and I. U is not a word, and saying “Are U there?” sounds plain stupid. Furthermore, Y is not a word, and thus sentences like “Y Aren’t U There?” sound doubly stupid. R, C, and B also aren’t words. There are real word equivalents, however: “you”, “why”, “are”, “see”, and “be” are the appropriate alternatives to the one-letter “words.”
Second, numbers are not letters, and the two can not be used interchangeably. Fire, for instance, can not be spelled F1r3.
Third, using “k” instead of “c” or “x” instead of “ecs” is not cool. “Kool” is just stupid. So is “extacy”.
Fourth, at least make an effort to use proper spelling. Nobody’s going to get mad over a typo or two, and nobody expects you to be a master speller, but when every third word is spelled incorrectly people start to wonder if English is your native language.

I think that’s the end of the first English Lesson. I hope I didn’t blow anyone’s mind out there - it’s probably hard to realize that everything you’ve typed before now has sounded completely and utterly stupid. Hell, you probably thought you sounded cool. Really, though, breaking these rules doesn’t make you some hip punk-rebel who’s fighting back against the man; instead, you seem like an illiterate ass.

I’m out. Love and peace, mates.

I R T3H L33T!!!111oneoneone.